11 Blocks
by BreeBear98
Summary: It's been 3 years since Kara and Lena broke up, so why can't Kara forget about her?


"Thanks! I've been looking for a coat just like this!" The stranger holds her money out for Kara to take.

The blonde clutches the winter coat in her hand, running her thumb over the material. Her eyes briefly roam a path her heart knows all too well. She thinks about all the times she's walked a certain brunette home, laughing and holding hands. Her mind flashes to a memory with her ex wearing the coat in her hands.

" _What do you mean it's over?" The brunette ducks her face deeper into the coat, hands burying themselves in the warm pockets._

" _Lena, it's just not working out. We're both too busy with work, we don't have time for one another anymore." Kara tried not to look at the now crying woman, she held in her own tears. She had to do this, she was no good for the aspiring business woman, she knew she would just hold her back._

" _If this is what you want." Lena waited a few seconds before she turned her back to the blonde for the last time, hurriedly making her way into her penthouse._

 _A couple days later a box with Kara's things was placed on her front door step, the winter coat included._

"Um, hello?"

Kara shakes herself out of her reverie, she takes the money and hands over the purchased item swiftly, turning to enter her home. As soon as the door shuts she leans on the wood and slides down. Her hands feverishly wipe at her eyes.

Once her tears subside she leans her head against the cold wood, losing herself in her thoughts.

"It's been three years. Three years! Why can't I forget her."

Because you don't want to, she tells herself. She doesn't want to forget the heiress, their memories, their love. It was the greatest love of her life and she let her go.

Kara lifts herself off the ground and wraps herself in warm layers, preparing for the winter chill. She opens the front door and walks the familiar path to her local coffee shop. She ducks her head and and clenches her fists in her pockets. She tries to block out all thoughts of a raven haired CEO but to no avail.

There's a chill in the air and the clouds look as if their about to burst at the seam, snow is bound to fall within the hour. She walks a little faster, not wanting to be caught in the snow fall.

She blinks once, twice, and realizes she's already at the coffee shops front door. The bell rings as she opens the door, shooting a barista a smile.

"The usual?" A young girl asks with a dazzling grin.

"Yep." Kara pops the "p" and waits at a table by one of the windows after she pays for her drink. She rests her head against the cold glass and lets her eyes wander through the tiny shop.

 _When Lena laughs she laughs with her whole being, Kara loves that about her. She can't take her eyes off the woman across from her, she knows she should be listening but she can't seem to focus on anything except the melody of her voice and the way her hands move while she's explaining something._

" _I'm talking too much, aren't I?" The brunette brings her coffee to her lips and sips, trying to hide the blush covering her cheeks._

 _Kara's eyes widen, and she immediately disagrees, "No! Of course not, I could listen to you talk about the process of paint drying and listen with intent." She smiles at the woman, taking her hand in her own._

 _A silence passes over the two, a calming one, the woman take in every detail they can, afraid to blink as if the moment will pass if they do._

"Coffee for Kara!" For the second time that day Kara has to snap out of a day dream.

She smiles once more at the barista before taking her leave.

Snow has started to fall and she can see the tracks of people who have walked before her, she follows the phantom steps home, throwing her drink away in the nearest trash bin. Before turning down the street to her apartment, she looks over to another road.

"Left, right, left, right, left, straight for a block, right, left, right." She visualizes the familiar steps in her head, closes her eyes and imagines the path itself, the street, buildings, stops. The woman she used to walk along the sidewalk with. She opens her eyes and continues her walk home.

"Hey, babe." Her boyfriend calls out to her from one of the rooms, "Where'd you go?"

Sometimes she forgets she found a boyfriend, that she's supposed to be in love. She says she is, she has to be. It's been a year. She can love him as she once loved Lena.

"Just getting coffee." She walks to the living room, where she assumed he was, not surprised to see him sitting on her couch watching some sport on TV, feet resting on her coffee table. She makes her way to him and sits beside him, not before pushing his feet from where they rest. His arm slides behind her shoulders and pulls her closer, he kisses the top of her head and then rests his cheek there.

She pretends this is enough, pretends that his arms feel right, that the chest she's rubbing feels like home and the cheek against her temple isn't too heavy.

But her mind won't stop, she knows this man isn't the person she wants, his arms are too large, his chest too small, head too big. She closes her eyes, and visualizes the person she actually wants. Letting herself indulge in this fantasy, just once more.

The last thought before she succumbs to sleep is that it's a Friday night and she knows Lena is home. She's probably laid on the couch, wrapped in a heavy blanket, glass of wine and a good book next to her fireplace. She's only 11 blocks away.

* * *

"2,797, 2,798, 2,799, 2,800." Kara brings her feet to a stop, standing outside her sisters door. She looks down at her feet planted in the snow, "14 blocks from her doorstep to this party."

A week has passed and she knows Lena is home, she's not the type to go out on a Friday night.

"What was that?" Her boyfriend looks down at her with a confused look on his face.

"Nothing," she replies, leaving his side to knock on her sisters door. She hears the party even before the door is opened. She hears the laughter and soft music, her sisters voice getting louder as she opens the door with a drink in her hand.

"Kara!" Her name is slurred and she knows her sister is teetering on sober and drunk. She laughs a little as Alex hugs the blonde as if she hasn't seen her in decades. "I'm so glad you're here," the hosts whispers in her ear.

Alex spares her sisters boyfriend a small smile before grabbing Kara's hand and leading her into the bustling house. She greets the people she knows and introduces herself to the people she doesn't. Somewhere between the greetings she loses her boyfriend in the crowd, admittedly, she's not too concerned about him.

A group is formed around her, consisting of her closest friends. They all talk of old times and current events. She tries to not feel so alone, yet there's a pit in her stomach where happiness used to be.

She feels it rather than see's it, the pity in the room. It's as if everyone knows her heart has been shattered for the past three years. She doesn't know why she keeps coming to these reunions, for appearance sake, she assumes. Also, her sister would probably kill her if she didn't, she laughs quietly to herself.

She looks around her and almost feels light, she loves the people surrounding her, Winn, James, Maggie, and Alex. Seeing them almost makes her feel whole.

Sometime between her third and fifth beer, Alex and Maggie had excused themselves from the small circle. James and Winn are talking about police stuff that she doesn't understand, something about robberies and companies.

She hears one of them say Lena's name and takes that as her cue to walk back out of the house.

She begins walking without a destination in mind, the frigged air hits her face and the tears that stain her cheeks nearly freeze. She wipes at the wetness, willing herself to stop crying.

She keeps walking, faster and faster. Her mind is racing.

"Kara hasn't been the same since Lena."

"Well Lena hasn't been the same since Kara"

She accidentally walked into Maggie and Alex's conversation, as she was leaving and silently retraced her steps before they realized she was there. When did Lena and Maggie become friends? She thinks between pants.

She's running now, her legs taking her wherever they please. She takes in her surroundings and stops suddenly. She can't go down this path, but her feet keep walking. She wills anything to stop her, or anyone. Practically begs to the heavens for a sign that she should stop.

She can't help feeling stupid for breaking up with Lena, "all you had to do was express your fears" she thinks. Lena is the most understanding a patient woman on earth, she would have helped.

At that point in her life she was stuck in a self depreciating hole, not knowing what to do in life. She saw Lena as someone who had it figured out, building a company from nothing with relative ease.

Kara was always stuck between wanting to be proud and being jealous that the woman knew herself so well already.

She does stop, eventually, she stops outside of a stoop that once held two happy individuals. She looks at the steps and pictures herself and Lena, their first kiss, the nights they stayed out and sat and talked till the early morning.

" _Kara, there's something I need to tell you." The brunette looked nervous, arms crossed and not making eye contact. Her walls had come up with reinforcement this time. The blonde guided them to the steps of Lena's home, taking the girls hands in her own as they sat._

" _What is it, Lena?" Bile rose to the back of her throat, it took everything to sit still and wait for a response. Tears began forming behind her eyelids, while she waited for the woman to speak._

 _A few heartbeats passed before mumbling could be heard from the brunettes lips._

" _What?"_

" _I said I'm falling in love with you!" The words were spoken in a rushed tone, eager to be out in the open and not locked away. "I don't want to be friends anymore, I want to be more."_

 _Lena sighed and took her hands into her own lap, "I understand if you don't feel the same, we can be friends, I'll just.. i'll need some time."_

 _Kara couldn't contain the smile that grew onto her face, couldn't stop herself from hugging the woman next to her, refused to stop herself from grabbing the brunettes face and finally,_ finally, _kissing those lips she dreamed of almost nightly._

" _I love you, too, Lee." The woman stared at one another in awe, smiling and blushing like teenagers._

 _They spent the remainder of that night talking about anything and everything, hopes, dreams, fears. They held each other close and their beating hearts synced to a nonexistent tune._

Her eyes find the door and she slowly climbs the steps. Her breathing gets harder as she nears the familiar wood.

"You have a boyfriend, stop this." She thinks, however, it does nothing to stop her from hitting her knuckles against the glass portion of the door.

She sees a shadow coming closer, can almost make out the silhouette of her ex-lover. Her heart hammers in her chest as the figure approaches, she feels tears threaten to spill, she vaguely hears her own ringtone but it's drowned out with the door swinging open and the most beautiful voice.

"Kara?"


End file.
